is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
