i jhust puked up my retainher.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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