I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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