I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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