he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
