Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she looked like the before picture.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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