i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
