There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
