All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
