I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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