she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
