I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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