after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
