she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
