...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
