Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
