Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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