I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
