If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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