girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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