let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
