Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
