where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
