I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
