Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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