dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
