a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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