Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
