I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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