So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
