Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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