a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
