we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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