Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
