I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
