It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
