im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
