Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
