Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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