sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
