We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
this boner is exhausting
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
