this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
