So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
