I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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