I skipped work to stalk him.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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