She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
