I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
why do cheetos always look like penises
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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