Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
