So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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