I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
