Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
