I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
